Warning: this post is most definitely a "typical" freshman/undecided/cry me a river post! Enjoy :)
"What is your major?" This question is the question that follows every basic introduction and is the reoccurring moment I am reminded that I have no idea what I want to do with my life, but it's okay. I will be okay...probably. I have to continue to tell myself that or else my brain will explode with the possibilities that await me. Once telling the individual who asked this question that I have no idea, they ALWAYS reply, "It's okay! You have so much time!" and I do. What I hate is that I have trained my brain to think that the degree you graduate with from college is what you have to do for the rest of your life, which isn't true. The process of deciding doesn't have to end after completing college, because there's no way to know what career paths will come one's way until you are exposed to reality. Another factor that goes into my process of deciding is what will make me happy? It's hard to answer this question without the influence of money finding it's way into my head. While money is a necessity in life, I won't allow it to be my driving force. It's extremely hard not to think about that though, but don't we all struggle with that to a certain extent? While using money as a driving force, whether it be for the necessity or simple want, works out for others, I don't wish for that. However, it still seems to be an automatic thought when it comes to answering the inevitable question. I know this because I tend to follow my answer of "I have no idea" with "but I have an interest in medicine." This is very true, but I say that a lot of times because the response I get from that is much more positive than if I were to say a magazine editor (despite my grammar abilities). It's a safer response and one that reassures myself and possibly let's the other person think that I have a career path in mind so I'm not that lost. I shouldn't be thinking about what people think or what kind of money a job might bring in when I'm still trying to discover what's out there, but I do and so does just about everyone else. Still, this question is overly stressful for me due to my inability to process my own desire to know what I want to do with my life. It's an interminable battle. Not one of blood, but rather one of excitement and anxiety to know the unknown. Who knows when I will "know" what I want to do with my life, but for now that question will continue to be answered in a proud manner (with a slight cringe), that I don't know where my life will take me and I will figure it out as I go! ~Chloé
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And as the wind blows in a new season, thoughts of the unknown flood my brain; but no matter the density, light will seep through the clouds again.
City buses are a treat for anyone addicted to people watching. This year was the first time I started ridding city buses. This isn't because I'm in some way too good for city buses (far from it), it's simply because that's never been something I've needed to do where I live. There are no bus stops near my house or a need for them and it isn't a common form of transportation. I have always felt so lucky having the luxury of driving cars whenever I need. However, this year has changed that a bit. It hasn't changed it immensely; I am still very grateful for such a luxury, but I come to appreciate the wonder of others. The bus system here is really confusing and I get anxious just trying to figure out which schedule to look at when it's a Tuesday. Do I look at the weekday one or the general one? You would think it would be the weekday one, but you'd be wrong and very cold after standing in the freezing cold for 45 minutes. Not that that happened to me or anything...Anyway, the bus holds the people of the world. There are all kinds of people and my level of judgement on others has slowly been mitigated just through observation and simple processing of information. On one bus ride there was one woman with pink hair, another with purple and another with I believe it was a tint of green. My judgements were immediate. The assumptions flowed through my brain with complete ease which is scary. As I continued to file to the back of the bus I saw a man sitting by the window with greasy black hair in a messy ponytail and wearing all black. I assumed he was some sort of gamer and probably many other things; however, when I sat down, my assumptions were shut down, and it was eye-opening. I saw that he was writing down music notes. I then realized he was composing a piece of music right there on the bus. I was so amazed. I couldn't even begin to fathom what it takes to compose a piece of music let alone on a bus! I was sitting there judging others without evening knowing their names and then checking my useless social media to see how many likes I got on a picture... From that moment on I watched his hands create these foreign symbols to me, but a beautiful language to him. It made me rethink how quickly I judge others just based on the way they choose to present themselves. However, not all my experiences on the bus were as eye-opening. The bus is often times extremely potent with a mixture of body odors, people with mental illnesses, and creepy men staring at me with no regard of how inappropriate that is. But I'm also aware that that occurs anywhere in society. It's just so intriguing how so many people of all different backgrounds and motives in life can come together in such a small space. While I will never take having access to a car back at home, the bus has been quite the new eye-opening experience filled with new people and intriguing people.
Hola! I'm super excited and nervous to be back in the "blogger" mode, if I can even call it that. While I have no idea what exactly to write about, I am still happy having a new place to share my thoughts. So let's see, what's new... Well for starters, I am about a thousand miles away from home living in a place where Birkenstocks and socks are most definitely one's fancy attire and hammocking is a common pastime. While I haven't fully embraced the Birkenstocks and socks, I've fallen in love with hammocking because it is the most relaxing thing I've ever discovered. I feel so outdoorsy while being pretty protected in my little cocoon, so it's great. Recycling is very big here too, making it extremely stressful to throw away anything, anywhere! Your usual two second plate-clean-off becomes fives minutes of absolute panic and quick head turns to see if anyone is watching you throw away something in the wrong section. However, I am much more conscious of it which is ultimately part of the goal, right?! Also, everything here is local and it's wonderful because even the food in the dinning hall is "farm to table." While that still doesn't make the dinning hall food amazing, it's decent! But there are SO many "east coast" things that are incredibly foreign to me! If you've never heard of Cabot cheese, don't tell an east coaster because it is literally everywhere and in everything! There are also words that I try to avoid saying because apparentlyyyyy Midwesterners say stuff weird, but I think it's the East Coasters that are weird! Just kidding, but they say soda, which is weird. It's pop. Anyways, back to the bigger point, it's very different here. I miss quite a few things from that school hidden within all the bland and flat land of Indiana (no offense) like Shack cookies. Ugh. I dream about those gooey Shack cookies with a scoop of ice-cream on top (Ana, you know what I'm talking about). Yeah they have Ben and Jerry's here but no ice-cream tastes as good as the Shack's does when paired with their cookies. I also miss my girlfriends. I miss going across the hall at any hour of the day/night, whether they were in there or not, and just talking/sitting for hours. There were no filters necessary because we are sisters and we told each other everything, and I mean EVERYTHING. It was so convenient and comforting to have them across the hall or at least in the same building, to just go over and vent about teachers, friends, relationships and all other aspects of life with no judgment. However, I'm back at step one again. "Hi my name is Chloé. I'm from Michigan." But this time instead of "oh that's not far" people say "wow that's really far right? where even is that?"...It's the only mitten state in the entire country!! However, I can't really talk cause the East Coast can get a little tricky and my sense of distance between the states is wayyy off which isn't good because whenever I say something is close, it's very far and if I say it's far, it's close, so either way I get laughed at which is totally understandable. To make things better, just about everyone is from the East Coast besides a few stragglers, like myself. It's diverse for me in a way, but is also not at all. I came from a school that was a melting pot of people from all over the country, not to mention the world. It's crazy not to have met that many international people here, but I am managing. In conclusion, I really love it here. I'm far from feeling completely at home, but with time, it shall come. I love being able to look in any direction and see the mountains kissing the sky. I have yet to hike one, but that's a sore subject so I won't talk about it. So that's about it for me. Thanks for reading what is essentially a rant about the East Coast! I promise my other posts will be more interesting...hopefully. P.s. In case you are in need of a good chuckle here's your fun fact for the day: Soft Serve is called "Creemee's" in Vermont. Yeah, just take that in for a second. -Chloé |
Chloé FabiJust an Italian girl with a French name trying to get her sh*t together in this 21st Century vitriolic society :) ArchivesCategories |